Doing vs. Finishing

I want to launch K Station in 3 months, and every day my fingers get a little more tightly crossed hoping it’s going to happen.

Here are a few big differences between the life of someone making a game and the life of someone finishing a game:

The sense of a loss of control. When I was making the game (coding, writing dialogue, planning out stories) I felt like the master of everything in my universe. When you get closer to launch, your life starts to become dominated by vagaries. This person won’t get back to my emails. YouTube makes my uploads look blurry. I’m having writer’s block trying to plug this plot hole. Etc. Etc. For the first time, you have to start letting go and accepting problems you don’t have time to solve.

Mood swings. Everything is more emotionally intense. The satisfaction of finishing my game’s logo is very powerful. Noticing one little thing is wrong with my trailer and realizing I’m about to lose a whole day is extremely powerful. The sense of unease and dissatisfaction at ending work for the day is bitter. Nothing feels normal anymore.

A personal battle for perspective. My inner monologue has split into two voices: one voice keeps panicking over this or that being wrong after multiple days of work, that tomorrow I’m going to notice a new problem, that I’ll never ship on time… And a second voice is growing — not louder, but more insistent, and it says “take it one day at a time”, “a good-enough solution is good enough”, “no one will notice”, and best of all, “this means you’re almost done.”

Also: you don’t know what work really matters, and what doesn’t. Like this blog post.

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